By His Divine Grace A. C. Bhaktivedānta Swami Prabhupāda
In India there is restriction between men and women, free intermingling, but in your country there is no such restriction. Therefore I got my disciples married. They criticize me that I have become a marriage-maker. Anyway, I wanted at least to regulate. That is required. Krishna also says: dharmāviruddhah kāmo ‘smi [Bg 7.11]
Now, a married man also can be brahmacārī. If a married man sticks to one wife, and before sex, if he takes permission from his spiritual master, then he is brahmacārī. Not whimsically. When the spiritual master orders him that “Now you can beget a child,” then he is brahmacārī. Śrīla Vira-Rāghava Ācārya, he has described in his comment that there are two kinds of brahmacārī. One brahmacārī is naisthikī-brahmacārī; he doesn’t marry. And another brahmacārī is… Although he marries, he is fully under control of the spiritual master, even for sex. He is also brahmacārī.
So why so much restriction on the sex life? People do not understand throughout the whole world. They are captivated by sex life, especially in the Western countries. Pumsah-striyah-mithunī-bhavam etat. Material existence means desire for sex life, both man and woman. Not only in human society, in animal society, in bird society, everywhere. That is material life.
And when they are united for this purpose, a man and woman, they… We are already attached to the material activities. Then our attachment becomes more and more strong. Then, out of this attachment… In this way, being united, then they want grha, apartment, to live together. Then they want some land. Formerly there was no service. The grhastha (householders) used to produce food grains from the land. Neither were there factories or big, big offices to get job. One had to produce his own food from the land. So simply apartment will not help – I must require some land for eating. Grha-ksetra-suta. Then we desire for some children… and then friends. But all these establishment can be maintained by money only. Then money!
Then, in this way, gradually, janasya moho ‘yam. We are already bewildered. We are attached to this material world, but when we are united, man and woman together, our attachment for this material world becomes increased. Janasya moho ‘yam aham mameti [SB 5.5.8].
Material world mean “I am this body, and in relationship with this body everything is mine,” this conception. They forget altogether that “Nothing is mine. Even this body is not mine. Even I am not mine. Everything is Krishna’s.” That is wanted. Unless we get to that status of life, that “Nothing belongs to me. This body also belongs to Krishna; I, as spirit soul, belong to Krishna; and everything belongs to Krishna…,” then we become liberated. Tapasā brahmacaryena [SB 6.1.13]
[An excerpt from a lecture given on the Srimad Bhagavatam 7.12.1 on April 12, 1976 in Bombay]